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hell yeah: youtube on your cell phone March 28, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in awesome, cell phone, mobile, video, youtube.
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fuck you, verizon! no longer do you have exclusive domain over my ability to watch 80s music videos through my cell phone!

 ” YouTube will launch its mobile website in June 2007 for U.S. users, according to a spokesperson. The mobile YouTube site will go live once the exclusivity clause on the company’s mobile video deal with Verizon Wireless expires. The service will be live for European users in May. YouTube has been already working closely with mobile carriers, and handset makers such as Nokia on the mobile version of their video service.

In response to my question if YouTube is developing a mobile client, the spokesperson said that the company had been talking about it, but had no information to share at this time. Check out a preview of the blocked mobile site or this demo site: http://m.youtube.com/?client=ytdemo which you can see from some mobile phones (let us know if your phone can access it).

The mobile site when it goes live will have around 800 “editorial picks” of videos to choose from. It’s kind of an experiment to see how well things go and how good of a response the company gets, the spokesperson explained to us. Though, the end goal is to create a truly mobile YouTube experience with eventual access to the entire video catalog.” — gigaOM

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johnny depp + tim burton = omg hot March 28, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in celebrities, edward scissorhands, hollywood, johnny depp, movies, sweeny todd, tim burton.
39 comments

they announced today sweeny todd is coming out this december, too.  REJOICE.

 

ron jeremy ruined ghostbusters March 22, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in ghostbusters, porn, ron jeremy, wtf.
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how? by being in it. no, i’m serious. he’s not credited — it’s before he was (in)famous as a porn star and apparently had nothing better to do than walk in the background of hollywood films. you know, that doesn’t actually sound like a bad idea. i’ll do this next time i’m in LA.

“Around the time Ghostbusters was being filmed, Ron was just getting started in the film industry (adult and otherwise.) In the documentary Pornstar: The Legend of Ron Jeremy, fellow actor Bill Margold mentions Ron trying to get him to join him as an extra on the Stallone actioner, Cobra. Given this and the fact that Ron is from and was living in New York at the time, it’s not that far-fetched. Just very odd.” — Proton Charging

if 300 were actually rated PG March 21, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in 300, awesome, dentistry, lolz, sparta, wtf, youtube.
1 comment so far

BRUSH. YOUR. TEETH!

not-so-hot chick of the week March 20, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in boobs, jenna jameson, women.
1 comment so far

jenna jameson. what happened, girl 😦 (courtesy of the bastardly)

space moose will lick you(r balls) March 20, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in comic, humor, lolz, space moose, wtf.
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it’s true!

a first sexual experience gone horrifyingly wrong March 19, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in awesome, cock block, first time, hold, sex, virgin, wtf.
1 comment so far

linking the source would only intensify the embarassment that must be felt by this message board poster, but in some sense, you have to respect them for having the balls to post their experience publicly. WHAT THE FUCK. (and make sure to check out the fucking hilarious response that comes afterwards)

“Wow guys, I’m feeling like CRAP today…feel free to try to make me feel better, or to make fun of me. Anyway, here it goes:

Last night I met up with a friend of mine who I had been flirting on and off with for the last year. We started getting into a heated make-out session and then she started taking her and my clothes off so we could do the “big dirty thang.” This was GOING to be my first time, so naturally I was a bit nervous, but I never believed that I would have one of those “first time anxiety” things that I constantly hear about. I get it up pretty quickly (oh what the **** – it was practically up the whole time, this girl is friggin’ CUTE) and get my condom on. I turn off the lights, lean in for a few more kisses and then put her legs over mine. I do a quick “finger search” for the hole and then go for the kill…

Then – cock blocked!

What the ****? I can’t seem to get my dick inside…so, I do another “finger search” and then try again. Blocked?

I don’t get it. I play around more with my fingers, it seems kind of “tight,” but this girl has had sex with other guys before and my dick is by NO MEANS big. She takes off the condom. Begins stroking me, licking it, stroking and then says “its not hard enough.” I let her stroke a little more, and than say, “okay, i think it’s good.” This thing has TAKEN OFF. It’s UP and as hard as it usually gets, I simply don’t understand how it couldn’t be hard enough to get in. I try again, and again, and it keeps getting blocked, or pushed in other directions. After several more tries, I give up. But I don’t understand whats wrong with me. It can’t possible be too weak to get in. It just doesn’t make sense – I’ve watched plenty of porn and my dick looked just as normal and hard as any other. Let me also say that it’s not that I “couldn’t find the hole.” She was trying too and it just wasn’t working. My only guesses are it was too dark in the room to plan out the proper physics or I just wasn’t pushing hard enough.”

and the golden response:

“Negative. Negative. It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the surface.”

someone told me jesus loves pot March 19, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in bongs, bush, drugs, first amendment, free speech, jesus.
1 comment so far

hurrah for free speech! even though the supreme court ruled school administrations had limited freedom in restricting students from expressing themselves, that individual right has wavered in ensuing decades. it’s no surprise that when someone protested with a self-professed humorous tag of ‘bong hits 4 jesus’ for no discernible reason other than to slag attention on himself. stupid? probably. wrong? please, god, let’s hope not.

As the Olympic torch was carried through the streets of Juneau on its way to the 2002 winter games in Salt Lake City, students were allowed to leave the school grounds to watch. The school band and cheerleaders performed. With television cameras focused on the scene, Mr. Frederick and some friends unfurled a 14-foot-long banner with the inscription: “Bong Hits 4 Jesus.”

The Bush administration entered the case on the side of the principal and the Juneau School Board, which are both represented by Kenneth W. Starr, the former solicitor general and independent counsel. His law firm, Kirkland & Ellis, is handling the appeal without a fee. Mr. Starr and Edwin S. Kneedler, a deputy solicitor general who will present the government’s view, will share argument time on Monday. The National School Board Association, two school principals’ groups, and several antidrug organizations also filed briefs on the school board’s side.

“Holy moly, look at this! To get drugs we can eliminate free speech in schools?” is how Robert A. Destro, a law professor at Catholic University, described his reaction to the briefs for the school board when the Liberty Legal Institute asked him to consider participating on the Mr. Frederick’s behalf. He quickly signed on.

Having worked closely with Republican administrations for years, Mr. Destro said he was hard pressed to understand the administration’s position. “My guess is they just hadn’t thought it through,” he said in an interview. “To the people who put them in office, they are making an incoherent statement.”

gift wrappin’ with pixel aliens March 19, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in aliens, awesome, christmas, paper, space invaders.
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too bad christmas is so far. no, wait, scratch that. i don’t want to spend a bunch of money on people again — I JUST DID THAT A FEW MONTHS AGO AND ONLY RECENTLY COMPLETELY PAID OFF MY CREDIT CARD. yargh.

still. this is cool.

raphael loves the pen15 March 14, 2007

Posted by patrick.klepek in drunk, penis, raphael, south side, st. patrick's day, teenage mutant ninja turtles, tmnt, wtf.
10 comments

while at the south side st. patrick’s day parade in chicago, i noticed raphael of the teenage mutant ninja turtles was holding something rather suspicious:

raphael was quickly approached by police when parents started to figure out what was going on, but, while confused and obviously angry, they let him go. apparently arresting a teenage mutant ninja turtle or removing a giant dilgo from his shell would be too much for the kiddies.